Friday, October 20, 2006

What I've learned from the Amish...

Lately there has been lots of talk about the terrible tradgedy that happened a few weeks ago when a local man murdered five amish school girls in the small town of Paradise, Pennsylvania. This morning I read a really interesting article that looked at this sad event from a new perspective.

The article is here if you want to read it before you read my blog.

The article shed some light on how the Amish have handled this tradgedy. Most importantly however, the article opened my eyes to an alternate way of viewing the difficult process of forgiveness. I have often raised questions about forgiveness and how it is actually accomplished. If we say we have forgiven someone for something, can we really claim we have forgiven them if we still harbor any grief of hardness in our hearts? The amish in the town of Paradise claim they have forgiven the murderer, and have reached out to the family of the murderer in more ways than one.

"Just hours after the shooting the Amish were already reaching out to the non-Amish family of Charles Roberts IV, who had barricaded 10 girls aged 6-13 in their school house, tied them up in front of the blackboard and shot them, fatally wounding five before killing himself. One Amish man went to the home of Roberts' parents and embraced his weeping father on the front porch, saying, "All has been forgiven." Members of the Amish community also invited Roberts' widow, Marie, to attend one of the girl's funerals, and many of the Amish were present at Roberts' burial. When aid began to pour into the community to help with medical bills, the Amish requested that a similar fund be established for Marie, who has three young children of her own to care for."

All has been forgiven?! I would have so much trouble forgiving any man who killed five innocent children whom I loved. But this is where the story gets good... the author of the article pointed out something great...

"...perhaps the willingness to forgive does not signify that the act is complete. It is more like a promise to initiate the hard work of beginning to forgive — a little bit like taking a wedding vow. When we promise to care for another person in sickness and health, we only know that we intend to keep our vows, but we cannot comprehend the weight of them or the way that their meaning will grow as the years wear on."

I love this. Forgiveness is a process, as very well it should be. There is no need to feel guilty for not being able to let go of 100% of the pain and effects of a heartache at the mere utterance of the words "all is forgiven." It reminds me of other spiritual phenomenon that I have discovered to be processes over the years, such as learning to let go of doubt. God is so gracious to love us even through the difficult times of growing and healing we must endure as humans. In fact, I believe it is in these times he holds us the tightest.

Finally, I want to mention an episode of Oprah I watched a couple days ago. Oprah and her friend Gayle visited an Amish community and interviewed a precious young family. When asked so many questions about how they manage to live their lives in the way they do, I absolutely fell in love with them. They refered to how their strength came from God, family, discipline... and how many things in life were just "givens" to them. It is given that there simply is no divorce, it is not an option. It is given that you respect the person you are dating and never even concieve of premarital sex before marraige. These things are less of struggles because they have decided on their values, and they hold fast to them. And the most amazing thing was that the joy and love eminating from their hearts and marraige was more than apparent, even in a brief 10 minute interview. This is how we should live... deciding the values we hold dear, and assuming them as given. We could all learn a thing or two from these fascinating people!

"Ultimately, forgiveness is not a denial of wrongs committed, but a willingness to accept that there are things that we cannot undo or even understand. It a deeply humble act, as we offer up the work of executing justice to God. The Amish realize that it is not their job to carry bitterness to the grave. As a child psychologist friend of mine, Russell Carleton, said, "When you forgive someone, their act no longer defines your life."

Can I get an amen!?!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

James Taylor was on the money...

"Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?" - James Taylor

I was laying in bed last night thinking about life (surprise surprise) and I had a certain thought that caused a sudden little flood of peace and joy to wash over me. This thought isn't new for me, by all means, but last night, it just popped in my head at such a sweet moment. I'll explain...

You know those new hp pavilion laptop commercials where the featured celebrity explains their life by pulling things out of thin air? If not, click here to see what I'm talking about. I started invisioning what life would be like if I could tell stories this way... but not just any story. I imagined being face to face with an enemy - the enemy of lonliness, the enemy of lies we tell ourselves, the enemy of confusion and despair. I imagined it was a battle, but before we started fighting, we got to form our teams. I started forming my team by looking to all the different groups of friends I have and handpicking them "hp commercial style" and placing them all together in front of my enemy. I looked at my family first... then moved onto church, then onto school friends. I thought of high school buddies, Aggie choir friends... and I started to realize something. I have so many people who I know are in my camp. We all do. I am surrounded by the love of people who support me, rejoice with me, take delight in me and I in them.

I want people to remember this - we all go through times in our lives when things are looking grim, but at these times some of the best therapy you can have is to pull out old photo albums... place pictures all around your room of those people who love you. Lonliness can leave you feeling stranded on an island, but if you mentally populate that island with the friends and family that stand behind you through life, your deserted island will quickly turn into the luau of the century .

Thanks to all of the beautiful people that make me smile every day - God couldn't have blessed me with a better team than y'all. Oh- and know that I am on your team. I'm on the front lines baby.

"I needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were. I needed someone to understand my ups and downs and there you were. With sweet love and devotion, deeply touching my emotion, I want to stop and thank you..." - James Taylor

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Videos and Photos from the TAMU v. ARMY weekend

So google has the easiest way to upload videos, so I put a lot of videos on that site... the only sucky thing is that you can't send a link to a page with all my videos, you have to show each link individually. BUT... if you want to, once you open one of the videos, there should be a link on that page that says "from user" and if you click it it will pull up all my videos. Unfortunately they don't give me a link to this page I can send out. If anyone smarter than me can figure this out for me let me know!!

Just so you know what's going on... A bunch of friends and I went up to San Antonio for the weekend to see the TAMU v. Army game. We spent a couple nights at John Jamber's ranch about an hour out of San Antonio. The day of the game we went into San Antonio and watched a parade then went to a tailgate party, where the TAMU Mariachi band played. These videos are a diary of our adventures!

On a tour of the ranch in the truck...
Cheryl feeding the cows
Trying to catch an alligator
The alligator on the move
The Aggie Band on parade
The TAMU Mariachi Band sings "Twist and Shout"
The Aggie Band marching in block T

If you want to see the still photos click here.

And a couple other non-weekend related videos I put up if you are interested!

Mollie's new Kitten
Travis and Ashley's Wedding - The first dance

Happy Viewing!!!

Thursday, April 6, 2006

Ahh! So Embaressing!

I had the most embaressing experience ever at Sonic yesterday evening.

So I pull in to the little booth thingie, push the big red button (WHICH by the way is so fun... I love to push buttons, and big red ones are extra thrilling... although this tendency is along the sames lines as to how I got myself into this embarresing perdicament about to be disclosed...) After I ordered my two corndogs with mustard and a medium cranberry limeade, I decided to pay with my debit card at the new little machine attached to my speaker. Well they don't give you an option to leave a tip, so I went fishing through my wallet for 75 cents to give the carhop when she came. Then the waiting began. The college station Sonic is particularly slow when it comes to bringing orders, but I assume that this being a college town, they assume their clientele will be mature enough to patiently wait it out, or else find something safe and constructive to do in their waiting time. They made a big oversight in not counting on the likes of me. So these three shiny quarters are just sitting in my hand and I start to fidget with them... stacking them, balancing them on my fingers, and eventually I think... hmmm I wonder if they would fit in these funny little crevices on my steering wheel. Thus my middle school tactile tendencies emerge. Much to my immediate pleasure, and momentary horror, the quarter does fit in the hole. Oh it not only fits, it fits ALL the way in... as in it has now fallen somewhere inside my steering column and I can hear it rattleing around. DUMB Cheryl. So I start investigating a way to get the quarter out, seeing if I can somehow unattach the front of my steering wheel... nope. So I start turning my wheel trying to get it to fall out somehow (I guess I thought it may fall out like a guitar pick in a guitar) and as would be my luck the quarter shifts, lodging itself squarely behind my horn. Which proceeds to go off blaring. And I can't make it stop. I commence panic fest 2006 doing all sorts of measures of things to my steering wheel... i.e. screaming at it, hitting it, trying to pry it practically off... all while a crowd of fellow patrons grow increasingly annoyed and curious. Thirty seconds or so go by. Horn is still blaring. I begin to get very upset and decide the only thing to do is pull out of my spot and drive away, so that I won't be attacked by a vicious mob of irritated sonic-ites. Fortunately, this seems to do the trick... as I reverse out of my spot, a sharp turn of my wheel seems to dislodge the quarter and end the pandemonium. I throw the car in park and sit there in disbelief for a moment. As I look up I see a terrified car hop standing sheepishly in front of my car. I all of a sudden realize what she, and the other 6 employees must have been thinking as they heard my horn and witnessed my thrashing, screaming fit of panic that had happened moments ago. I look up and with embarresment and regret start apoligizing profusely... "I'm so so sorry ma'am... something is wrong... my steering wheel... it's messed up... I'm sorry!" She replied with a very confused look and a worried "We thought you were mad at us!" Soooo humiliating. I quickly took my corn dogs and drink and fled the scene as soon as I could. The thing is, that dang quarter is still stuck in my steering wheel and I can hear it rattle when I turn. I'm afraid it's only a matter of time before this traumatizing episode gets a sequel.

Sooo... the moral of the story is... never assume just because a girl is 22 she is "grown up" and will know better than to stick small objects in dark holes just to "see if they'll fit." She will. And all hell will break loose. Bring her her darn corn dogs quickly before something goes terribly arwy!

Formal statement of apology to Sonic employees and patrons as of 8/3/2006: "I, Cheryl Cox, want to take this moment to formally apologize for any undue stress I caused you Thursday evening while waiting for my order. I promise next time to keep my hands folded neatly in my lap and wait patiently for my food."