Concluding a fifth of a life...

Hi sweet friends :)

Can you believe I am finally down to 3 weeks until graduation? It feels like yesterday I was climbing over the bike racks with my dad to get a peek into the window of my first dorm room and imagining how adventerous and fulfilling it was going to be to have my own little space in the world, away from parents and friends and the life I had known in Kingwood. Those memories have become precious ones to me. I had no idea where the next 5 years would take me, and had I known, I would have probably been shocked and awed.

Now I am finding myself once again going through this process. I am again a wide eyed newbie looking into the windows of life after college - the prospect of renting my own apartment in the city, paying all my own bills, upgrading my car eventually to a safer and more spacious model, and most importantly - working in the field God has led me into and interacting daily with executives and professionals far my senior. I want to remember all the great times at A&M but I also want to embrace this new chapter with as much vigor and thrill as I took on the last. If as many landmark events and moments of growth are destined to characterize my new life as I've witnessed in my last, then I'm so very happy to dive headfirst into this new time.

But in wrapping up my time in Aggieland (I don't do change so well - so I'm trying hard to embrace this experience head on!) my goals are as follows:

1. Choose not to regret any experience gone through or foregone during my 5 years at Texas A&M. I lived the experience God designed for me to walk. All good and painful moments had a vital role in shaping the woman I have become.
2. Reflect on and be thankful for all the relationships that impacted my way of thinking and challenged my paradigms. College is as much about broadening your worldview and becoming a moving force in society as it is gaining the head knowledge to allow success in your eventual job.
3. Take the time necessary to go to the people who made a difference in my time here and thank them for the impact they left on my life. As cheesy as it may sound, this will really help me as much as them. People deserve to be told when they have been a positive influence - it motivates them to continue and reassures them that they were right to make the personal investments they did in people. For me, it will constructively help me tie that big maroon bow on the "box" I think of my time here as. It's closure, and I personally think it's healthy.

Needless to say - the numbers of people who influenced me are endless, so if I don't get to you, know that your impact is deeply loved and appreciated! What a blessing to have spent time at a university like Texas A&M. I wish every young adult could have the opportunity I have had. This school is a family. This school is my family.

“From the outside looking in you don’t understand it, from the inside looking out you can’t explain it.”

It's crazy, but it's just so darn true. But if you want me to TRY to explain it, don't worry - I will go to great lengths (and use hand motions if necessary) to get the point across.

In short - THANK YOU.

Proudest member of the Fightin Texas Aggie class of 2006,

Cheryl

Beauty is Fleeting

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised" Proverbs 31:30

In an article I read today (located here) I read something that, although the concept is so simple, still struck a chord with me. As a woman, I am right there with the best of them as far as being self critical goes. Especially as a single woman, I notice that I am more prone to being self critical now than when I was in a relationship. Women are constantly concerned with how we are perceived. What are a few common questions that women have running through their heads?

Am I as pretty as the next girl?
Does this outfit flatter my figure?
Do I laugh too much?
Is my personality just a little too "out there"?
Am I anything special, or do I just fade into the crowd?
Am I the kind of girl guys want to marry?
Am I too stuffy and uptight?

I could go on for days, and I'm sure each girl has a few questions of her own that she could add. The article pointed out that each of these questions can be put into one of two catagories:

Questions of Charm (personality)
Questions of Beauty

How appropriate that God so directly focused on these two areas when he pointed out that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. But then he reminds us - but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised! As I come up on "wedding season" and graduation I am more conscious than ever about how I look and act! I will be meeting so many new people and have so many photos taken. It is a great reminder to me that my job here is simply to fear the Lord and work on my relationship with him. My somebody for someday will recognize that in me and be attracted despite the huge zit on my cheek and the fact that I go slightly psychotic after 10 pm.

And THAT my friends, is something to WHOOP about!

Ready to roll...

Okay so this afternoon I posted the last few posts from my myspace blog on here, so at least now the place feels a bit more lived in :) The other site is always still available if you are interested in older stuff. (Although I'm not sure why you would be.)

In other news - I cut the grass today! The neighbor guy came and told me if I ever wanted him to mow my backyard with his riding mower to just let him know. Tempting. Also, I got my first support letter response for my East Asia trip in the mail today! Praise God - this thing is actually happening now, we are underway baby! I have my second training day saturday and then I get to go camping with my amazing coach group at McKinney State Falls Park. Fun shall be had by all. Although, I'm not sure if the crew is ready to meet the 2am, loses all her inhibitions Cher. Hmmm.

First blogspot post...

Most of my friends are using blogspot these days so I thought I'd join in on the fun... I have all my old posts on my myspace blog, but maybe I can get those transferred here one of these days. If you want to see that blog click here.

In other news... I officially have my last college class ever tomorrow (WHOOP!) but to be honest it's a bittersweet moment. I have loved loved loved my time in Aggieland and I will always be an Aggie through and through! On that note, I need to go write my paper that is due at 8 am tomorrow. IT security is a fascinating topic and I need to dedicate four pages worth of thoughts to convincing my professor of this fact. :)

Love y'all!

Cher

The Beauty of Contentment...

Hello Beautiful Friends :) Well it's been a while, but I havn't felt inspired by anything recently, so I just decided to wait until the inspiration came. Yesterday must have been like my "introspective catch up day" because all the thoughts flooded me at once. So I decided to share one of those thoughts with you :)

I have been learning the greatest things about contentment lately! It's amazing how God reveals sin in our lives at the most random moments. It's like a light comes on and we can finally start to climb out the hole we never realized we had even fallen in. I am reading "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow with an awesome christian woman at my church this semester. There are many things in life I have chosen to be discontent about, but until recently I never realized the weight my discontentment placed on me. A missionary mentioned in the book was quoted as having lived by her own "keys to contentment". These keys were as follows:

1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather.
2. Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or somplace else
3. Never compare your lot with anothers
4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
5. Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

I am convicted on EVERY one of those points! If we could train ourselves to adopt these life habits, imagine how much more peace we would have. It reminds me of when I was little and my mom would take me to mall and remind me to have "tunnel vision" - go in for what you want and don't get caught up in letting your eyes wander to the hundreds of sparkley things thrust in front of you - that will almost certainly end in discontentment! Personally, I struggle sometimes with fears about the career I've chosen (accounting) and how that will ultimately impact other areas of my life and my desire to pursue creative outlets (the jokes about the dull lives of CPA's abound, but just ask me if you want me to go off on THAT soapbox!). Then I stop and realize, that God made me just the way I am - and I believe he has guided me to the places I am today. I must choose to be content with TODAY, realizing that God blesses whatever I do, if it is done for his glory and with a right heart. I must give my tomorrows to God. My job today is to wake up every morning, and make good choices. Choices that glorify my heavenly father. I will pray and ask God to bring me the other desires of my heart in his timing - for his word clearly says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4. He does not make us with passions only to ask us to walk away from them. (Yes, there are circumstances where God does require sacrifice - but I find that sacrifice normally has more to do with our selfish desires and perversions than the actual passion itself). So I pray - then I breathe deeply and let all the stress and anguish of subconsiously fighting for something I don't have or havn't experienced dissipate away from me... it's like a strong cleansing wind comes over me and wisks away the ugly black cloud of discontentment that was holding my joy captive. And all of a sudden a new beautiful me - a me that radiates with the light and peace of the one who lives in me (that's God!) steps forward to take on today. Hallelujah!

Ultimately remember this - we are eternal creatures. Our time on this earth is short. If we have trusted in Christ and believe the truth of his sacrifice on our behalf, we will surely spend our eternity in the presence of our King! What is this life in comparison to an eternity in heaven? Nothing. I echo the apostle Paul in saying... "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Philippians 3:8. Paul - you were SO the man.

Oh - P.S. I would like add a 6th key to contentment... take time every day to pray a prayer of thanksgiving for all the blessings in your life. Not only does God long to hear from us - there is nothing that will keep your perspective in check like a good dose of counting your blessings!!

Love y'all more than you know-

Cher

What I've learned from the Amish...

Lately there has been lots of talk about the terrible tradgedy that happened a few weeks ago when a local man murdered five amish school girls in the small town of Paradise, Pennsylvania. This morning I read a really interesting article that looked at this sad event from a new perspective.

The article is here if you want to read it before you read my blog.

The article shed some light on how the Amish have handled this tradgedy. Most importantly however, the article opened my eyes to an alternate way of viewing the difficult process of forgiveness. I have often raised questions about forgiveness and how it is actually accomplished. If we say we have forgiven someone for something, can we really claim we have forgiven them if we still harbor any grief of hardness in our hearts? The amish in the town of Paradise claim they have forgiven the murderer, and have reached out to the family of the murderer in more ways than one.

"Just hours after the shooting the Amish were already reaching out to the non-Amish family of Charles Roberts IV, who had barricaded 10 girls aged 6-13 in their school house, tied them up in front of the blackboard and shot them, fatally wounding five before killing himself. One Amish man went to the home of Roberts' parents and embraced his weeping father on the front porch, saying, "All has been forgiven." Members of the Amish community also invited Roberts' widow, Marie, to attend one of the girl's funerals, and many of the Amish were present at Roberts' burial. When aid began to pour into the community to help with medical bills, the Amish requested that a similar fund be established for Marie, who has three young children of her own to care for."

All has been forgiven?! I would have so much trouble forgiving any man who killed five innocent children whom I loved. But this is where the story gets good... the author of the article pointed out something great...

"...perhaps the willingness to forgive does not signify that the act is complete. It is more like a promise to initiate the hard work of beginning to forgive — a little bit like taking a wedding vow. When we promise to care for another person in sickness and health, we only know that we intend to keep our vows, but we cannot comprehend the weight of them or the way that their meaning will grow as the years wear on."

I love this. Forgiveness is a process, as very well it should be. There is no need to feel guilty for not being able to let go of 100% of the pain and effects of a heartache at the mere utterance of the words "all is forgiven." It reminds me of other spiritual phenomenon that I have discovered to be processes over the years, such as learning to let go of doubt. God is so gracious to love us even through the difficult times of growing and healing we must endure as humans. In fact, I believe it is in these times he holds us the tightest.

Finally, I want to mention an episode of Oprah I watched a couple days ago. Oprah and her friend Gayle visited an Amish community and interviewed a precious young family. When asked so many questions about how they manage to live their lives in the way they do, I absolutely fell in love with them. They refered to how their strength came from God, family, discipline... and how many things in life were just "givens" to them. It is given that there simply is no divorce, it is not an option. It is given that you respect the person you are dating and never even concieve of premarital sex before marraige. These things are less of struggles because they have decided on their values, and they hold fast to them. And the most amazing thing was that the joy and love eminating from their hearts and marraige was more than apparent, even in a brief 10 minute interview. This is how we should live... deciding the values we hold dear, and assuming them as given. We could all learn a thing or two from these fascinating people!

"Ultimately, forgiveness is not a denial of wrongs committed, but a willingness to accept that there are things that we cannot undo or even understand. It a deeply humble act, as we offer up the work of executing justice to God. The Amish realize that it is not their job to carry bitterness to the grave. As a child psychologist friend of mine, Russell Carleton, said, "When you forgive someone, their act no longer defines your life."

Can I get an amen!?!

James Taylor was on the money...

"Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?" - James Taylor

I was laying in bed last night thinking about life (surprise surprise) and I had a certain thought that caused a sudden little flood of peace and joy to wash over me. This thought isn't new for me, by all means, but last night, it just popped in my head at such a sweet moment. I'll explain...

You know those new hp pavilion laptop commercials where the featured celebrity explains their life by pulling things out of thin air? If not, click here to see what I'm talking about. I started invisioning what life would be like if I could tell stories this way... but not just any story. I imagined being face to face with an enemy - the enemy of lonliness, the enemy of lies we tell ourselves, the enemy of confusion and despair. I imagined it was a battle, but before we started fighting, we got to form our teams. I started forming my team by looking to all the different groups of friends I have and handpicking them "hp commercial style" and placing them all together in front of my enemy. I looked at my family first... then moved onto church, then onto school friends. I thought of high school buddies, Aggie choir friends... and I started to realize something. I have so many people who I know are in my camp. We all do. I am surrounded by the love of people who support me, rejoice with me, take delight in me and I in them.

I want people to remember this - we all go through times in our lives when things are looking grim, but at these times some of the best therapy you can have is to pull out old photo albums... place pictures all around your room of those people who love you. Lonliness can leave you feeling stranded on an island, but if you mentally populate that island with the friends and family that stand behind you through life, your deserted island will quickly turn into the luau of the century .

Thanks to all of the beautiful people that make me smile every day - God couldn't have blessed me with a better team than y'all. Oh- and know that I am on your team. I'm on the front lines baby.

"I needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were. I needed someone to understand my ups and downs and there you were. With sweet love and devotion, deeply touching my emotion, I want to stop and thank you..." - James Taylor